I dated a nerd. He understood stuff. I’m like that too, sometimes. Like, I do understand it. But, if you’re both nerds, it’s going to cancel out. It’s no fun. (Purely, my experience.) Not one of us knew what to do. It’s sad to think about it.
It’s easy to misunderstand a good friendship as Romance material.
And now you can never be the same again.
I’ve also dated the popular one. He and I didn’t talk much about that deep stuff but he and I did talk. He talked to me on the ride home while he drove back. It was sweet in a way. But, he and I weren’t: “I like you” though. You just know. It wasn’t what “IT” was like. And we mutually knew that.
Koreans give the concept of ‘First, Love‘ hugeeee importance because that ‘First one’ is incomparable. After having ‘dated’ myself, I can tell, that not one of those above, felt as real and still, something capable of making my heart flutter if a picture of him came in front of me, as the First one; and of course, it goes back to school.
There’s just something about that one guy in class. Everyone knows him. He’s in the team. He’s not a nerd and also not stupid. He’s average like you but he does it so differently.
He enters a room and it starts shining. He’s the center and everything else is just background.
He’s that one guy you’ll never have, but need.
You want him to be the story you tell your kids. I mean, you can’t do better than that. He’s the perfect story. You see him there on the school grounds in the sunlight and he’s smiling because they just did a goal and you; have fainted in your heart.
But. I think the lesson here is that you don’t get any one of them. They all are only here to teach us something. And then they go after their part is done. They’re all side characters, just twists. Everyone finds the ‘forever’ one. And you’ll thank all those before him, for everything they taught you. It does work out. Everyone gets there at a different time. Real life is messy, but it does Happen.
Until the next twist.
Desproticar 
Thank you for your thoughts, really. I will surely dwell on these 🙌🏻🙌🏻✨
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Love is a wide reflection. We always reflect on each experience, when we’ve experienced enough, and do not naively believe we’ve learned enough. In love, we learn from another’s world, and like anything, it is always a world we do not understand in fullness.
We are educated by love, is what I mean. Like any time with learning, we recognize what we already know, perhaps are reminded of it, and we also come to learn what we never knew.
People will say, “I am done with relationship”, though that only puts them at the weak side. It is because love, when not yearned for, becomes something that yearns for you. Someone is going to give in to its power.
Were one to completely reject love, they’d reject learning and wisdom. As in, who do we trust? Who we trust, is, of course, the greatest risk. What we are hurt by, in that trust, makes us become educated.
Pain will always remain as life’s greatest teacher/tutor. We are pain’s student, and throughout every day’s reflection, we feel what struck us down. Even if it is a thousand times, we return to want more.
I say, “Love is a miracle, not charity”, because it comes, in truth, not so frequently.
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Sorry. The connection between love and pain is that when we trust, we are loving. When our trust is lost or betrayed, we are in pain. In that pain, we learn. Though, a failed love or trust is always what causes such pain.
So… we trust to love, and we learn from pain to love, to trust, again. 🙂
When I mean that love is a miracle, it is that love cannot be mass produced, cannot be turned into enterprise.
What is interesting is that humans often trust what they do not know. Like when we trust a company with our personal information. We barely know the company’s ins and outs. But, we trust them, because we do not know them, much like how a romance starts.
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For me, the first love was unrequited. I loved her with a passion I did not know possible; and though she liked me as a friend, she was not interested in me romantically. We were in law school together, and in retrospect I understand her reluctance to be in a relationship at that time of life. I also did not fit her idea of what a husband should be. I was her age, but she wanted older and already established. I had money, but she wanted more money than I had at the time. Anyway, the point of the whole experience is that I took my first step from youthful passion toward wisdom. I learned that not by having a relationship, because there was none, but by learning how to deal with a passion that will never be consummated. In the years since, as I became a published writer and, more recently, a burgeoning poet, I did learn how to use that experience to inspire wanderlust in my own characters. She appears still now and then as a kind of phantasm in my stories. Not having her is more of a blessing than actually having her, since unrequited love is a topic I think I can explore fairly well in my fiction. As you said, we are meant to learn, and then to move on. Sometimes, “the one” comes, but sometimes that person remains elusive. Not every person finds their “forever” mate. Life is not a Hollywood story, though the wanderlust in the flowery part of my mind still prefers to dream otherwise.
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This is soooo beautiful, thank you for your take on this. Because it’s truly heartwarming. The fact that in your first love, you too were looking at marriagez shows how actually commited and in love you were. 🙌🏻✨🙌🏻
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Just to be clear, this is just one view, obviously there’s many ways life works out for everyone. I know that for many there first love, or high school sweethearts work out, and that’s great too. I was just writing for what I feel, yet. And how it’s okay to look ahead, rather than idealising the past and waiting for it to resurfac in the future. I’m going to stop explaining or ranting further lol.
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