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To, Excuses

What is my excuse?
This generation isn’t right?
There’s no men that are fine?
We just can’t vibe?
Our energies collide?
He doesn’t have the height?
Our humours don’t equalise?
Our tastes are opposite styles?
I’m not his type? Or he’s not my type?
He’s a husband material kind?
Or That he’s looking for a wife?
I don’t see a future for us in time?

Truth is, I’m too cowardly,
To get my heart broken until I die!
The only excuse is,
I just don’t Try.


R-13 On, Teacher’s Day

I mean, obviously. This had to be the one today.

There’s a pandemic going on and one of the most important professions in our lives is still overlooked. Point to me one industry during this crisis that has more quickly adopted to change, supported those vulnerable and served the community at large.

Half of our teachers were never trained to teach in a manner that does not exercise face to face interaction, yet they’re trying so hard.

They’re making content that is not only essential but Engaging as well. They’re trying to manage behaviors, make lesson plans, assess your submissions; all of this through a screen they don’t yet know how to even fully operate;

Where we as students make it harder with our pranks. They’re struggling just so young minds do not starve off work. We just see them when they open that class online, and start the lecture what we fail to see is the effort that goes prior into the arrangement.

Teaching itself is a task hard enough. And we’re pretending as if they’re not doing it to the best of their capabilities, in times of a pandemic, as real for them as for you.

We need to be a little more empathetic. Do the prank, but don’t cross the line. Be laid back, but don’t be disrespectful. Give criticism on the time limit for the assignments, but be kind when you say it.

Say what you mean, don’t say it mean.

I myself started my online classes and trust me, they miss us too. I can see the genuine love when they ask “Can you all follow me, or am I too fast?” “Am I audible, can you see the board?”;

College feels empty without you all.

I was close to shedding a tear on that last one, myself. Mostly, because the professor who said it, shows genuine love and passion for his work. And it shows. So…

Treat them better.

Respect them more.

And most Importantly,
Love them with all your heart.

Until the next prank.

R-12 On, Family Gatherings

Tell me about family gatherings
Will ya?
This will be the positives. Not the casual sexism, or the fights stuff. The good bits, happy times.

I stay away from home, I visit like once a year and let me tell you, as a kid I may have despised the gatherings a little, but living alone in the wilderness bought the warmth back.

Since, my childhood our family and two others have always hung out together, always. They planned trips, they met once a fortnight, it was a blast. They were family. They are family.

So, since it’s not blood relations now, it’s even more fun. Because it’s the family we chose. I love trips. I love hanging out. I love going out. Putting songs up in the car on a road trip, is a dream to me. Doing a Bonfire under the stars, heat from the fire on the arms, it’s Magical.

The moon shines brighter, the air is swifter and the moods are high. The sarcasm from everywhere, And the fact that you live away only makes these much more pleasing. You cherish Every moment.

And I think that’s because going out, meeting the ones you love and admire, being together comes as a change in the constant weather

A new adventure, a ripple in the straight line that is life as we make it.

And, we must always keep reinventing, for the sake of living. For, if not that, we might as well be dead, don’t you think.

Until, the next Ripple.

R-11 On, The Zeal to Live

There’s a particular genre of movies in which the main theme is that ‘you gotta love life while it’s still happening.’ They start with this healthy person who finds out they’re gonna die, or with this kid who has a disease by birth.

They always have dark humor because… it’s okay for the person with the disease to say it. They can make jokes on it, that’s how they maybe get by. There’s a trip or a revisit to the ties one has broken to family. Because life is too short to hold grudges and there’s a lot you wanted to do which you didn’t so now they’ve all found this zeal to actually live and not survive.

This nature. That just when something is about to get out of reach, we leap for it. And realise how important it actually is to us.

The main thing that hits, when I watch these movies is this human tendency to only make a move when the train is just about to run out. So, now I figured out why this occurs because maybe, when the end is near we see clear that really… Really after Death, there is Nothing. And I think we need to stress on this a lot more, There’s. Nothing.

This need to provide meaning, to the ‘life worth dying for’. As if up there somebody would judge us, asking if we did something worthwhile down there. Understand it. After Death there’s just Nothing.
So, Live.

Until, the next life.

To, Rain

It dripped off me, But that didn’t fall away.
I could see the droplets going to the drain.
It was hurting, My heart was aflame.
The water wasn’t fast enough for my claim.
It was all over me, Yet nowhere Near the Stain.
It was a lion who could be Tamed.
I became the hunter, laying traps in dismay.
I didn’t deserve to be cleaned I was castaway.

Useless attempts to forget made a mockery of fate.
I owned up my destiny, I made a Peace trade.
I blocked the contacts, all matters cliché
Bearing the stains, I’ll be okay.
The rain went down the drain.
I proudly held their memory still unfazed.

R-10 On, Leaving Places

So, I recently resigned from an organization I had been a part of for two years, and it stirred up a lot of new emotions, I hadn’t felt for a while.

As I said, I had been a part of it for more than two years now, so I’d gotten at a position, which permitted me to “command“, so to speak. It gave me a place to ask people for work and assign it. I edited their peices. And no one edited mine. And the moment I sent my resignation letter, I felt myself go all the way down, again.

It wasn’t a bad feeling, that: Oh I’m not incharge anymore. It was more of like,: Hey I’ve never felt this constant pressure before. To do good, to do Better, to Raise Higher. What is this I feel? Is this adrenaline? Pumping me with Energy? This excitement to start anew and go up on a higher ladder this time.
The feeling of Challenge.

Since I had been on the top of the ladder so long, I had forgotten what it felt like at the bottom. And the moment I hit the ground it all came back again. The anxiety of waiting for an approval from your superior, the discontent to edit a part out from a write up, because the senior demands it. The ‘fear’ to offend someone. (since I tend to be a little outspoken)

And it all felt good. I realsied I was smiling. And it hit me, that life demands change. Obviously, we’ve all read this before, but I understood what it meant. I wasn’t growing there anymore. It had given me all it could. I understood the meaning of

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

I’m too young to just stick to the one thing. When I can do much better someplace else. We’re supposed to do more. Rise higher. Yearn to Learn. That’s key. Yes, the comfort and safety and security we feel at a place, we’ve worked hard to get up at. A place we’ve made our own is always priceless.

The warmth is endearing. But, we need the cold to grow too.

Leaving is also important. And when you do get at a better place you’ll know it was all worth it. So, challenge yourselves, if at all. Competition is a great force. Every step. The rush feels good. Feels Alive. The fight to reach higher wherever you are, feels better.

Until you’re at the top again.

To, The Witch

If I am the Witch

If I am the Witch Then Will you be my sacrifice?

Or will you be My Raven, My companion my Trustee.

If I cast a spell, Will you be the incantation I speak?

If I Wax the named, Will you be the Poppet for me?

If I Scry for Devinition, Will you be the Mirror I gaze in to see?

If I go to the Crossroad, Will you keep me Company?

Will you be the likeness for the Lord to delve in, to be?

What about when they Condemn me? When they discover my Identity?

Will you burn the Malleus Malefiacrum for me?

R-9 On, Pleasing People

I am terrified of upsetting people. I am a person who has this compulsive need to make people like me. If I am standing in a group of people, no matter who it is, I blabber. I will keep on bringing up stuff until I find something that the person who I’m with likes.

I hate awkward silences. I hate silences at all, I think. They make me uncomfortable. Soooo uncomfortable. To the point that I will embarrass myself, as long as the people around me start talking. To the point that I’ll tell you something way more than I should. Just so that I could leave with the feeling that you liked me, or because it will help us snap out of the silence we were in.

Even in a friend’s circle, I find it hard to feel at ease. I cannot stay in company of someone and stay quiet. The one person I’ve ever found I could accomplish this with, has been with my Best friend. That’s understanding I think. With her, I don’t know.. But it just feels okay.

Which sometimes, IF I overthink makes me feel that none of my friends except her actually know me at all. They see what I like to show, and the capacity of what I like to show is judged by however much I think is required in my mind to think that the person in front of me liked me.

But this doesn’t also mean that the other friends are not dear to me, They Are. But, I think here’s where Bonds show their relevance.

My Best friend is the Blood of my Blood. My other friends are just kin. You get what I mean.

The point I’m trying to make is, this compulsive need to leave a good impression on strangers, is not healthy. Standing in a group of ‘friends/strangers’ and taking insult, just because I want to avoid making a scene is. Not. Healthy.

It’s been a while that I’ve realised this pattern of behavior after some very unpleasant experiences but now I think since I’ve acknowledged it’s presence, I try my best to change it. But it’s hard. Very hard. It’s hard to change who you are.

It certainly doesn’t happen overnight, but it needs to go. I don’t need every other person I meet to like me, I should’nt feel obligated to birth these feelings in them, I should leave it as it is. It’s a constant fight.

Until, The next person I meet.

To, The Wolf

The South was never a place for the Northern to delve.
They weren’t Honorable enough, and the Northerners could tell.
The King needed his friend to rule over the realm.
He came miles and miles from the South, top the North’s shell.
He brought doom with him, None of his Council could help.
It was the Northman he needed.
The honorable. The highest on the shelf.
It wasn’t a favor he meant to ask Off him,
It was his life he meant.
Cause he knew the South was dangerous, Especially for Northmen to delve.

But father couldn’t refuse, he was too Honorable as I said.
He swore an oath and now he must pay back the Debt himself.
He had to travel South, He took us too with him.
My sister was Blinded by the Prince,
But I didn’t trust these strangers,
And neither did anyone else.
The Northmen are proud,
They are loyal only to their own.
Only a Stark can rule my home,
The North can never be held by Force.
But we had to leave for the South,
And they did what they do Best.
They killed the King first, For whom Father had came to hell.
And then I heard the Prince command Ser Payne on the Sept.
To behead my Father, Lord of Winterfell.
My sister woke up then, trapped in the Castle from her dreadful ‘lover’s’ pretend,
And I ran and ran in a Foreign land,
With noone to call a Friend.

The South was never a place for the Northern to delve.

R-8 On, Practicality

Social media is a place where we pretend and project this ideal self. And yes, you’ve all read this before as well. Still I want to say it again.

Chase being something in the world by actually doing something.

We are all the result of what we truly are. But, the fact that we try to blend in into the internet world by doing all the things that are in trend or famous, shows us as the “wannabes”, which I know is the least of your capabilities my friend. You’re so much more than that.

You’re doing something that makes you feel cool, great. Good for you. But, don’t loose the actual moment and forget to live. Just because your Followers online didn’t see it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen at all.

Follow the trend. Post the Story.

But don’t forget to look at the actual sunset when it’s happening because you were too busy documenting a photo of it.

Look up in the sky when you’re meant to. Not all are lucky enough. Live when you’re meant to. We’re too ungrateful.

Stop choosing the invisible. Draw a line after a while. Doing it for fun is cool. Don’t live that lie.